What are You Coaching: Trait or State?
Fundamental Attribution Error – what is it and why is it important? Despite the stuffy name, this is an extremely important concept for coaches to keep front and center as they work with clients. Dr. William Berquist, author of Developing Human and Organizational Resources explains it this way: “There are two ways behavior emerges in […]
Narratives – A Practice
Here’s something I’ve noticed. Its often challenging for coaches to be both succinct and to “go deep” in establishing a client’s current narrative. And if the proffered current narrative doesn’t go deep enough, the new one loses impact, is too narrow or shallow; doesn’t enroll the client. I’ve found a lovely practice for developing this […]
Dancing in the Dark: Part Two
“Before you can see the light, you have to deal with the darkness.” – Dan Millman Experience is precious. Let’s investigate it! We explored curiosity in Part One. Why is it so important in shadow work? Curiosity occurs in freedom… freedom meaning here a space uncluttered by assumptions, judgments, suppositions and filled with a dynamic […]
Breakthrough 2010
When you are ready to turn failed New Year’s resolutions into real breakthroughs (achieved outcomes) you need a commitment to yourself, your growth, your development. What makes Breakthrough 2010 work is that unlike resolutions, you devise a plan with a coach, are held accountable to take action steps and get ongoing support. You design a […]
Passion is Power: Finding Yours
“Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” asks Mary Oliver in a famous poem. What is your answer? And on a spectrum between faint interest and rabid obsession when are you in the red zone? These days, when do you light up? Sometimes the details of humdrum making a living are […]
Tracking Intimacy: Getting Close to Your Partner
Do your relationships feel stale? Are you wondering where intimacy is hibernating? Are you experiencing the “blahs” when you long to feel engaged, engrossed and connected? The sparkle may have fizzled or been stillborn. Now, your feelings of closeness may be hitchhiking towards the hills. Unlike most skills, we are rarely taught how to communicate […]
Communication 101 for Leaders
Whether we’re dealing with under-performing employees, challenging direct reports, negotiating with difficult clients or discussing breakdowns on projects, difficult conversations arise. Few leaders understand the dynamics of difficult conversations. Most avoid them. Great leaders skillfully decipher the structure of difficult conversations, interpret the significance of what was said, identify their own unspoken assumptions and manage […]
Language Reveals Our Reality: Food for Thought
The other day, two friends were discussing current projects at work. I listened to their conversation with curiosity. Joe described his project as “a battle” while Karen used “a journey” to describe her experience. He laughingly pointed to the difference in their metaphors and I was struck by how the difference affected their approach to […]
All you need is Love: Embracing the other
Lennon and McCartney said it. Rumi, Kabir, Hafiz (and other Sufis) wrote about it. Religion and culture chime in loudly about the importance of it. The total mass of songs, poems and movies that implore us to find it, keep it and renew it could create another planet. The lectures, articles and books on love […]
Dancing in the Dark (Part One)
Dancing in the Dark(Part One) In our living, there’s a dance partner we’ve often ignored, or worse. Sometimes, we’ve attempted annihilating this partner. Certainly, we’ve confined it to the dark (often called the unconscious). This partner goes by many names. Here, we’ll call the part of ourselves we’ve discounted, hated or ignored, our shadow. It […]
