My dog saved the day, saved my business and that’s why I love him. In playing with Beezley and experiencing his unconditional love, I reconnected to myself, to my deep enthusiasm and concrete belief in what I’m up to in this world, and finally, who I am.
These past few months have been exciting and hard…ever since I made the decision to transform the way I run my business. Exciting because I kept a clear, though imaginary, roadmap pinned before my eyes. I could see where I was and knew the destination. I had a plan to get me there and sharp tools for the trip.
For the first time in my life, I was also really inviting in support, so I found it! Not only support for online marketing and my upcoming tele-summit, but GREAT support. I felt part of an effective and talented team.
Amazing!
And I was sure that I was going to get there, I worked longer hours with more focus than I can remember doing for years. Some of the work wasn’t at all of interest to me, but just needed doing. I stayed mindful of the necessities and often felt in flow – just doing the next thing, next.
I researched and read, watched webinars on marketing, spent more hours at the computer, more hours strategizing with my supporters, even hours hiring the right assistant. Workflow charts, blogging, making videos, creating offers, writing auto-responders, learning editing software, setting up a new accounting program and testing project management software. Work and more work. And all of it around the clients I was currently coaching.
And I saw my own teacher (I am a Ridhwan student) regularly, did weekly inquiry to stay clear and on track and out of the outdated, outworn stories about what is possible for me.
Of course, it all cost money, too. Money I borrowed from my pension plan. Money I borrowed from family. Money I wasn’t sure I would be able to repay or replace anytime soon, if ever.
Yet, I knew what I wanted and I was going for it…without excuses, without hesitation, without certainty of success- but HOPE – big, barrels of hope and a firm commitment to do whatever was required and a conviction that I had something valuable to offer to the world – these were all part of the mix.
Most of the time, I felt enlivened, noticing every cell in my body resonating, enthusiasm spilling through me like slow paint. Decision after decision, user guide after user guide, video correction after video correction, I went all out, stayed with it and forged ahead.
My lovely dog, Beezley, gave up some long hikes for shorter trots in the neighborhood. He hung out near my feet as I packed in whole days on the computer and phone. He even took his vitamins with less fuss. After 11 hour days on the computer, he hopped enthusiastically up on the bed to keep me company, when I collapsed at night.
And all that’s been great. Truly great and I’m deeply appreciative. He’s a handsome, supportive and understanding companion, easy to be with and a great camper- but that’s not why I love my dog.
This week I got sick…terrible burning sore throat and some sort of infection that made me feel like a dirty doormat. The “bug” ate up all my energy. Worse, it ate up my enthusiasm and belief in this vision. The dream lost its color, went stale, heavy, dull.
A harsh inner voice started taunting me with messages like, “You’re wasting your time. Who do you think you are anyway?” And mostly, I was too tired to defend against it.
I started feeling drained, then exhausted and then really, really unsure – second guessing what I am up to, questioning every decision…wondering if I’m making a BIG mistake or worse, delusional. My head went fuzzy about even the simplest task. And that nasty voice kept me obsessing about the money all this was costing me.
Now some people talk to their dogs – a lot. Not me. I generally keep our conversations short. So I wasn’t sharing – at least not verbally what was transpiring.
And Beezley, while smart and with it IS a dog.
But last night, when I felt I had hit a stark low – no energy to move, no idea what to do next and not enough juice to call anyone for support, Beezley jumped up on the sofa with me. Peering into my eyes like a wise sage, he curled himself into the crook of my body and began to lick away my tears.
Slowly, methodically, Beezley cleaned me up…snotty nose and all. What’s more, he somehow conveyed the message that this was just a temporary setback, that everything was really OKAY and that we – him and I, were just fine.
Beezley let me know I was good enough, despite what gremlins were whispering from within my muddled, feverish mind. He showed me that I was loved and that love was more important than just about anything else.
He didn’t need my videos to be perfect or my blogs to shimmer with wisdom and clarity. He didn’t care whether I mastered the learning curve of all the new software programs dotting my desktop.
Beezley just cared about me, how I was doing, whether I was down and what he could do to make me feel better. We were a team. He reminded me of what counts most – love and compassion.
Go figure that my dog would be such a good teacher. His compassion fueled my own. I re-aligned my priorities, sank into the ready affection we share, shucked off my cares and began to play with him, making both of us happy and a bit goofy.
And in playing with Beezley, experiencing his unconditional love, I reconnected to myself, to my deep enthusiasm and concrete belief in what I’m up to in this world, and finally…who I am. And THAT’S how my dog saved the day, my business and why I love him!
